Why did it take so long?
Over the past twenty something years fear has held me back from helping others. Now that I write that it sounds kind of selfish and stupid but if I break it down that’s what was happening. During those years a lot of changes and challenges have happened to me and my family that have needed self assessment and course correction on my part. That’s where my passion for personal development and positive psychology comes from. Most of the time those changes lead me back to a question I often ask myself, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”
That question then lead me to looking for and discovering things that are out there that I have an interest in, but none of the things I pursued were an overwhelming YES or as a coach that I have learned a lot from Rich Litvin asks, “Is it a HELL YES?” One time I was trying to discover the next “thing” during a Brendon Burchard teaching where he was helping people figure out what business they would like to start with their existing talents, all I could keep thinking is I want to do what Brendon is doing, but I really didn’t know how.
With years of knowledge and an attitude of helping and serving, I STILL SCREWED IT UP!
Through those twenty some years there have been cases where IF I initiated the conversation that was needed, and used the knowledge I had collected to help myself, I could have helped others find the answers they were looking for. Some of my fear stemmed from a wrong approach on my part, I used to think giving the advice that helped me was how I should help. I quickly learned that unsolicited advice is rarely met with acceptance, and sometime rudely rejected.
Another fear was the inner speak that asked, “Who am I to give people advice?” I’m far from where I want to be in life, I’ve had success but I have also had massive failures, challenges, set-backs, etc.. But here’s the first thing I figured out when I was looking for a coach, those experiences are so valuable. I want someone who has been through something similar to give me some insight on what helped them. The second thing I had to realize was is I’m not really giving advice, my job is to listen, ask questions, ask more questions, and help my clients get clear and have breakthroughs on their own.
Conversation is the key!
Thanks to a couple of coaches I have been fortunate to learn from, I found my approach. For me the key to helping others is to have a deep conversation, it allows me to know more about the challenge that they are facing and to ask questions that will help get the clarity they are seeking. That of course is a one-to-one approach. I then use those general challenge themes to provide information for a larger audience via articles, blog posts, group coaching.
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